Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Emperor's Clothes


When is someone in the national or international music media going to stand up and shout “Nah, nah, nah. I don't see the Emperor's New Clothes! He is Bollock Naked – and it's not nice”...?

The social media is chock-a-block with witticisms and despair accompanied by the sound of people tearing their hair out at the idea that Kanye West should be headlining the world's greatest music festival and delivering a performance that is on the one hand risible in its lack of talent and imagination and on the other, one that is joined by a huge sing-along audience who have paid hundreds of pounds to be there. There are several other, far less complimentary hands as well.

I don't care about those who want to pay to be there. The words Money and Sense come to mind. That is their choice.

No, what I find totally inexplicable is the slavering and pathetic music review system that has infected major journals and media outlets. They are breaking out everywhere you look...Reuters, the National UK Press – even the BBC website writers seem to have been struck with Brain By-pass Syndrone. To read their comments is to be at another concert, possibly even on another planet. To describe someone who mimes to a 70s classic while the audience sing along as even 'average' is kind, but when you read the buckets of praise evoking the words 'world's best' and 'creative', let alone 'talented' that are being poured in the direction of this self-publicist, you really do feel like digging out your bleeding eyes with a reviewer's pencil.

At this point, we try to offer some mitigation for this travesty of 'music' reportage - and recall that most of these reviewers were there on freebees, maybe even with the offer of an interview or a signed album or three. Payola is no more. Far be it for me to suggest that it is now just more subtle and benign.
Yes, of course, reviewers must be allowed to express their point of view or we are all in trouble. Nevertheless, the wholesale 'musical' plaudits for this affair are really hard to understand.

Yes, the existence of Kanye West as an 'international star' is certainly a quite amazing phenomenon. He may well be a creature of our times. For heaven's sake review him as such.  The fact that he exists on an international stage is our fault. The fact that he can use the 'N' word on an international stage with impunity is our fault. He can mime to another artist's work or employ the audience as his backing band, because he can and because we pay to let him do it. We have that choice.

What we don't choose is how our national and international music media report it....even if they have all taken leave of their senses.

Listen to me. He does not have any clothes. He really does not have any clothes.    So for fucks sake stop telling us he is well-dressed.

Pip Pip!
The Blues Man in The Hat