Hello! Er, hello, Mr
Echo? Is this an empty room? Oh Good – I shall start A Fight...
As a long-time
hopelessly dedicated lover of all the fabulous musical sistas of the
blues, old, new, shouty, sophisticated, cool, super-smart - and frenetically,
energetically, slightly barmy....I was wondering the other day about
the UK music scene and thought ... What Happened To All The Blokes?
Where Are They? Can they not sing? Do they need a guitar plugged
into their navel to stand in front of a mic on their own? Do they
only sing when they are clutching a harp and hunching their
shoulders? Maybe it's not regarded as proper to just stand up there
naked and just do it with your voice? There used to be front-men –
and crikey – it was the most super macho thing in the world to
stand there, arms akimbo, mic stand twirling, legs apart, flares
flapping and hair ablaze in the revolving spotlights....(sit down
Robert – it's not all about you!) - but now, outside of the pop
scene, you can count the solo male singers on your fingers...
Yes of course, here in
the UK there are a good few very fine blues guitarists and other musicians who are also
fine front-men and singers...but you have to look closely to locate
the stand-up-all-by-yourself vocal guys. I'm not going to list them
here - this is my private fight and I'm not going to tell you in case
I get tied to a mic cable and trolled to an inch of my typing finger
- there are some and they are bloody brilliant - but trust me, there are not many.
In his great speech on
being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Tom Waits said
that apart from saving him from a career in air-conditioning and
refrigeration, songs “were a very interesting thing to be doing
with the air”. He does play piano and guitar but he's not bad with
the solo front man stuff. But he has a point. Just looking at the
present day blues scene – (and if you know The Hat, you will know
that I am talking about the 'broad church' and not just the bit the
purist police love) - where are the UK front men who want to do
something interesting with the air?
Everywhere I look or
listen in the UK today, at festivals, clubs, gigs and on the radio
shows, I am overwhelmed by simply spectacular female vocalists. They
are growing in numbers and just go on being brilliant. They can give
it some head-banging welly, whisper in your ear, pinpoint pitch a
note at a hundred yards, make you cry, make you punch the air, strip
wallpaper and cover you with honeyed butter whilst punching you with
screw-you lyrics. And...a good few of them play a musical instrument
when they are not doing the air thing – but that's besides the
point. They are good at standing up alone and there are a growing
number,
I wouldn't dream of
offering a single reason as to why there are no blokes. There has to
be the talent out there. Maybe it's not a proper job any more. Maybe
there is no demand. Maybe, if you have to have a band to front, then
the competition from the other axemen would be too fierce and they
will make you redundant. Maybe there are just not enough black
smarties to go round if there is one more to feed.
I'm not complaining.
I'm just saying. I'm quite happy with any of the sistas telling me
they need me – or, more likely, to leave now – in perfect pitch.
I was just wondrin'....
Pip Pip
The Blues Man in The Hat
No sensitive male singer-guitarists were hurt in the making of this blog...