"Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? Oh No! It's.."
As many of you will know, at this time of year,
The Hat spends a lot of time hanging round amongst the dustbins
outside the back door of Hebfest Towers in the hope that A
Festival Scoop might come his way. I don't ask for much...a
headlining name perhaps or a signed 8 by 10 full colour shot of a
fabulous female discovery? Occasionally, one of the Festival
superheroes, Jam Maguire or Fixit Elliott will come out and
offer me some mint tea and a few lines of copy about how brilliant
they are - together with a stack of flattering photographs usually of
them drinking, sitting around and saving the world....
But I persist. They know that I am not going away.
I am their lucky little leprechaun. They need me and my quill pen.
Oh, come on! Allow me my little exaggerations. But to continue...
This week, I got a tip-off from my cat Cozy whose whiskers frequently
pick up supernatural stuff that most of us don't notice. His advice
was to hang around The Red Telephone Box in the High Street
and wait for some action....
so with turned up collar and pulled down
Fedora, I staked out the joint.
I didn't have to wait long. A sudden gale blasted
down the street. Paper and cans were blown everywhere. Dustbins rolled into the road. There was a
slight tremor underfoot and the door of The Red Telephone Box
clattered. Using my laser binoculars I could see that crammed
inside were the identifiable figures of Maguire and Elliott – and they were stripping to their underpants! This was it! I groped for my camera but realised too late that it was still on the kitchen table. The next moment I was bowled over by two caped and masked figures heading to the horizon at a rate of knots and the air was filled with cries of 'Shazam!' and 'Hold On Blues People - We're On Our Way!' I immediately realised that I had been witness to an event that few have seen but many had suspected. The Hebden Duo really did have Secret Identities.
In the excitement I hadn't noticed the telling graffiti on the wall or the magic logo on the Red Box. But then, as the sudden gale died away a Single Sheet of
Paper floated gently down towards me. I seized it hungrily. Across
the top in Red Ink were the words Top Secret. Wow! Holy Cow! It was the 2014
Hebden Bridge Blues Festival artists line up! Who said that good old
fashioned door-stepping was a waste of time? All those years at the
Ruthin and District Gazette have finally paid off....A Scoop floating
down from heaven!
I guess you will appreciate that sadly, because of
the absence of decent photographs, no one will believe my story and the Tale
of The Superheroes of Hebden will remain just another Urban Myth.
But..but...but...I still have that sheet of paper and it does indeed
have next year's festival listings on it. Take my word. The Hebden
Family are in for a treat.
So, give me a day or two and I will, exclusively,
like the superb sleuth wat I am, Reveal All. Keep your eye on the
Hebden Bridge Festival website – which you will find here –
http://yorkshirebluesfestival.co.uk/ - or by clicking the gold logo on this page - where the full details will shortly be revealed. Trust me. Next
year's Festival will be a belter – and you heard it here
first.....Kerpow!
Pip Pip!
The Man in The Hat
No shoppers were hurt during the making of this blog..