The Bad Trousers....The Wise Bank and The Fabulous Smiley People ......

....why don't we re-form and wear these amazing trousers?...

April has been a tricky month for The Hat what with digging his way out of the Hat Mansions snowdrifts and trying not to fall over. However, there is a lot of good music around and thankfully some amazing new blues Cds have been released by people we know and love that are helping to blow away the Terrible Weather Blues. But here's a Bizarre April Highlight that I really must share with you my friends....

Someone has given The Hat some 'Action Trousers'. They are not, alas, like the 'Techno Trousers' hated by Gromit and built to make life easier for Wallace. Indeed they are rather disappointing in that, apart from not being drainpipes – The Hat's 'pantalons de choix' – they actually do nothing interesting at all and certainly provoke nothing that you could remotely call 'Action' - unless having "hard wearing knee patches" is a Secret Code for some Lifestyle that he does not understand. However, their arrival did provoke the notoriously Inactive Hat into getting up early and thinking about exactly how old you have to be to Re-form As A Band?...(aha, maybe this is where the Action Trousers come in useful?)

Fortunately for you, the Hat doesn't have to worry about this reformation personally, as most of those members of his original rubbish bands who are not already comatose and being cared for by their fourth wife, have either left the country, are detained by Her Majesty or live in Virginia Water earning millions as criminal lawyers. Nevertheless, the idea of going back and doing it again keeps popping up and this month it was the turn of Fleetwood Mac. Although, sadly, it has of late become trendy to lob a cynical comment about being old, boring, selling-out and past it in the direction of the band (as indeed happens these days with Eric Clapton, Mark Knopfler and some others – a trend I abhor by the way) – there can be no disputing that as a group and individually this is an extraordinarily talented collection of musicians. You can pick any one of them and step back in awe – and of course all of them have never really stopped playing and singing and still tour and sell out venues. If they re-form, make good music that people enjoy, sing the blues and once again demonstrate their undoubted skills, then let's raise a glass.

In the blues world, there is no written injunction preventing you from going on playing and singing, especially if as an artist you are not only re-interpreting the standards and classics but are writing and playing new stuff. You can be dead certain that your friends and your audiences will soon tell you When To Stop. If your voice goes, or your picking or drumstick fingers pack up, then yes, maybe call it a day. But if your knees give out, you can always put on your action trousers and pull up a chair. Well, for heavens sake, Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper and Peter Frampton, 65, 65 and 62 respectively are still packing 'em in – and let's not mention Charlie Watts and his mates... You and I know there are major Blues players out there doing just that. It is total tosh that you have to die at the age of 27 to become an acceptable legend....I mean, who's gonna tell BB and Johnny Winter that they're past it and 'just in it for the money'...?

And now I shall divert to Thrusting Youth. The Hat knows a lovely young feller called Rob da Bank – I've forgotten his real name, but who cares, his adopted moniker is so good anyway. Seventeen years ago Rob used to DJ a hugely popular session called 'Sunday Best' at a bar in London called the Tea Rooms des Artistes where he played, amongst other things (come on, stick with me here, you won't regret it!) electronica, trance and chill-out. Rob went on to set up his own recording operation, travelled the world, played huge stages at Glastonbury and Ibiza amongst others and, for a time, took over the John Peel slot on Radio One. Now he is best known, maybe to you, as Mr Bestival Festival. So, you will gather, Rob is Seriously Cool and quite Famous in some circles. However, I mention him here - not because I want to name-drop someone you've never heard of - but simply because he has some refreshing views on the Festival Scene. Every so often there is a flurry of print, usually during slow summer months, from under-employed and not very well informed newspaper 'music correspondents' on the question of whether there are too many festivals in the UK.

Now we all know, that if a festival has rubbish artists, is badly run, over-charges and doesn't care, it will not survive. What is interesting though, are some of the aspects highlighted in interviews recently by Rob – who we can agree, knows a thing or two. Whilst acknowledging the deadly effect of the weather and high-pricing, Rob points out that there is always a place for the well-run independent festival and not just the heavyweight and heavily commercially backed show. Also, he clearly loves the idea of the 'festival family' - and embracing, with the music, all the notions of having fun and a good time which can sometimes get lost when you are standing in a quagmire worrying about your credit card. Maybe The Hat is now ringing some bells for you. In recent times we have seen the collapse of the Monteray Blues Festival after 25 years, substantial grief at the Isle of Wight and the cancellation of Guilfest and a few other familiar names. The Hebden Bridge Blues Festival is very young, is not likely to have to cope with 20,000 people and is still learning as it picks its way round the mantraps and pitfalls, Fortunately, it is sheltered from the worst ravages of the weather and the pricing remains sensible. However, to echo Rob who talks delightfully and delightedly about "making friends and having a laugh" it seems that the Hebden crew have their finger firmly on That Festival Fun Thing.

Finally, let us note that blues festivals do not suddenly emerge from nowhere like celebrity pop-up shops. It is Hard Work. Now - even though it is obvious to us all that they both do indeed work very very hard and certainly appear to know what they are doing - it is No Secret that - like most festival organisers - behind that cool, sophisticated-shade-wearing-relaxed-swan-like style sported by those two Hebden blues dudes, Paddy and Jason when they appear smiling at the Bluesfest, there is a hand-picked hard working team paddling away like fury to keep those Talented and Handsome frontmen away from trouble and ahead of the game.

The Good News is that YOU still have time to put your name forward and join this very select crew by checking out the festival facebook page for details and then sending the FHG (Kathy - the Fabulous Head Girl) a wannabee e-mail. Possibly, this is not the time to mention that, in their Pursuit of Perfection, this team of anonymous, smart, informed, fiesty, occasionally modest, usually invisible and generally impossible-to-do-without people often seem to deliver it all on the promise of a fifteen hour day, an occasional cold pie and chips, the threat of amp-carrying-induced Back Seizure, rain-and-wind-door-manning Pneumonia and Deadly Face Rictus induced by smiling all day at hundreds of well-meaning tired and emotional Blues Experts - who have usually forgotten their own name and what day it is. However, if you talk to them, they will all tell you that they love it, they love the music, they love the atmosphere and they love the people. So here's some advice from one who knows about the value of a ha'porth of thanks....when you next catch sight of one of these amazing Smiley People (they know who they are), smile, tell them you can see who really wears the Action Trousers....and say Thank You. I guarantee they'll love you all the more.

Pip Pip!

The Man in The Hat 

Footnote: In a selfless act of charity The Hat has donated his action trousers to Oxfam...