Monday, September 10, 2012

WARNING!!! THIS BLOG HAS BEEN HI-JACKED BY THE MAD HATTER!!


A Grand Day Out

It was Dawn and The Mad Hatter was waiting by the side of the road for Grommit to turn up with the Charabanc. Well it wasn't really Dawn but anything before noon was early for him. "Why am I here, alone in the boiling sun with all these bloody cheerful joggers going past and all those noisy birds and ice cream vans?" he wondered.

It had all started downstairs in the Ideas Room of Hebden Blues HQ. Mickey was fine-tuning some Brilliant Ideas when he suddenly shouted "I've had this Brilliant Idea". "Yippee!" said Tigger, leaping around knocking over amplifiers and important stuff. " Calm down and listen to this. It's a stonker" said Mickey. "I think we should get all our friends together, hire a Charabanc and have a Grand Day Out at the Castle of The Blues!" "I love Castles" beamed Tigger "and I could take my new guitar and my mates The Three Blind Mice! Brilliant!" and together they danced around playing air drums and tambourines...


And thus it was. The Castle Special finally turned up to pick up the Mad Hatter. Grommit was driving and as usual didn't say much – largely because he doesn't seem to have a mouth – and as The Mad Hatter boarded he realised that The Whole Gang were already on board and rocking. Wallace was the first to speak. "Are you sure there will be Blue cheese?" he wimpered. "Of course" asserted a confident Minnie, who is very smart and knows far more about everything than Mickey ever will and had packed eleven bags full of chairs and tables and useful stuff. "Are we there yet?" - one of the Dormice had woken up and was looking fretful. "Soon, brother, soon. Just a few more Bars" yelled Tigger who was already bouncing up and down the charabanc looking for encores. "Are Shrek and Donkey coming?" asked Kermit. "They will already be at the Blues Castle" said Mickey. "Good Job, too" moaned Eeyore "otherwise we'd need a Bigger Bus". "Boom, Boom, Tish!" chorused the Three Blind Mice with Basil Brush on the cymbals.


The scenery flashed by almost as if it was on CGI. It was all going South.

"I need a Comfort Stop" came a whine from the back – it was probably Jessica Rabbit, who worries about such things. " Just can it, baby. Cross your legs" boomed The Queen of Hearts, flicking her red hair and throwing a few shapes in E major. "Why do you need a pee if you're made of film? Only asking.." wondered The March Hare. "Shut it, Big Ears, I can do anything on film – play the harmonica, even cook jugged Hare" "Hey, who are you calling Big Ears" said Big Ears. "Yeah, who are you calling Big Ears?" echoed Minnie, who loved nothing better than a fight. "Calm down, calm down, we are all friends here" intervened Pinocchio, not known for his statesmanlike veracity.

Meanwhile the charabanc was starting to bounce around a bit. Postman Pat, who has done a bit of driving in his time got up to check that Grommit was ok. It turned out that he was going so quick because he wanted to get to the Blues Castle as soon as possible and get far away from all these barking passengers. "How do we know when we get there,?" asked one of the Dormice who had woken up again. "When I lived in Nutwood Forest, we used to climb a tree and look for the Cathedral spire" said Rupert Bear. "Smug bastard. What if they don't have a cathedral?" snapped The Queen. "I love Cathedrals, great sound systems for Blue Toons!" yelled Tigger and the Three Blind Mice and Basil all went Oohwah, Oohwah.... "Oh God, this is the Bus from Hell" chorused Statler and Waldorf, "doncha just love it! All we need now is Bilbo and that bloody Wizard and we've got an ITV2 programme series..."

The scenery flashed by almost as if it was on CGI. The Blues Castle loomed into view. "Are we there yet?" came a pathetic cry.


Grommit edged the bus into the Blues Castle Keep and went off to get a quiet break from The Madness. After that, of course The Plot Thickened, the bus travellers met up with their many, varied and colourful mates who had got there earlier to bag the best seats and then Everyone Lost The Plot. To this day, Nobody knows where it went. It definitely disappeared. Gone. However, like all the best stories, this one had a really really Happy Ending. Mickey and Tigger got an award, there was loads of kissing and hugging and everybody cheered like crazy. The Charabanc got back home safe and sound but never caught the Road Runner....
That's All Folks!
P.S Hopefully, The Hat will be back in an instant...