Well, it's that time of year where some of you are obliged to buy people you barely know unsuitable presents, give the cat or dog a pointless and expensive toy to rip to pieces, drink exotic potions like Warninks Advocaat and watch bits of the Queen's Speech whilst attempting to lever yourself out of the sofa. Although, at heart, very much a party animal, the Hat tends to disappear himself about now until the small people and their irritating parents have gone home and it is safe to come out. I am not a complete curmudgeon, however, and I do realise that for some of you the joy of giving and receiving flashing socks and innapropriate underwear from your loved ones is one of the highlights of the festive season.
The blur of the next few weeks also presents the opportunity to brazenly solicit gifts of music which you can then play loudly at eleven on the dial to drown out the peripheral trauma coming from the kitchen, the television and the room where the children are breaking in their shiny new gifts. Far be it for me to suggest a list - I am sure every one of you is already in touch with Santa with a two page begging letter. However, the Hat's gift to you all this season is a Free Game that I have invented for you to play around the Christmas tree which should handsomely fill that interminable gap leading up to HM wishing you and the Peoples Of The World a jolly good time.
My game is called 'The Getting To Hebden Bridge Before The Queen Starts Up Game' and is the Hat's variation on Six Degrees of Separation. It is a small homage to the amazing range of styles covered by the blues genre. Even if you cannot play or sing a single note, this game is the perfect way to crush lesser mortals with your vastly superior anoracky blues knowledge. There are only three rules. 1) It must be accompanied by drink - my personal predilection is for Black Bush - but this may depend on what you have left in the cupboard next to the Paxo stuffing. 2) It must take as long as is reasonably possible and end with a direct connection to royalty. 3) The game must always start with a Big Blues Cliché (see, I gotcha already..) and always finish with the name of one of the brilliant Headliners playing at the 2012 Hebden Bridge Blues Festival. This last step is easy once you've checked the spiffing HBBF website. There are Points for the number of obscure names and partnerships you can force in to the game. The grand de-luxe advanced version of the game would be accompanied by appropriate YouTube clips and possible breaks for arguments to demonstrate certain chords or finger-picks and to prise people off one another.
I will start you off. Just to get going on a Seriously Divisive Note, check out Stanley Jordan double tapping 'Stairway to Heaven'. Then, moving swiftly on to Jimmy Page (geddit?) unusually playing alongside Eric and Jeff cracking out 'Layla', it is a short step to BB and 'Riding with The King'. You should be able to fit in Broonzy, Buddy, Robert, Janis, Muddy, Cherry, Elmore, Jon, Josh, Freddie, Albert, Paddy, Tom Cobley and Sister Rosetta along the way. Cheating is, of course, essential...but only after the first interval. Enjoy.
Happy Christmas to You and Yours
Pip Pip!
The Man in The Hat